Hidden Thoughts, Unspoken Words
by piggycat350
Summary: Are you dying?" Teary brown eyes looked into his crimson ones. "Yes I am... Yes, I'm dying..."


A Gakuen Alice fanfic

Disclaimer: I do not own GA *sigh*

Hidden thoughts, Unspoken Words

Happy Reading!

A/n: This is probably the only GA fanfic I'll ever write. There are just too many good ones out there...

* * *

_If you love me so much, why are you walking away?_

_..._

_You are so selfish._

Though the expression on his face remained unchanged, there was no denying that her words hit him, hard.

"Hmph!" He gave a non-committable grunt, his face not betraying any emotions as he leaned back, resting his head against his Sakura tree.

Chocolate-brown eyes surveyed him with curiosity.

"Aren't you going to ask why I said that?"

He wanted to know, badly, why the girl he loves so much said that. But he only responded by shutting his crimson eyes, pretending to fall asleep.

The girl pouted. She rambled on, regardless, answering her own question. The boy smirked, a small crack appearing on the emotionless mask he had on. He knew she would not be able to keep silent.

"Well, it's all because you always keep everything to yourself. _Always_. And yet, you take it upon yourself to give everything to your friends. Isn't that selfish of you?"

The boy sighed, opening his eyes. He did not want to have this argument, _again_. He made it clear before that his problems remained his own business.

His friends, especially her, should stay out of it. For their sakes. For her sake.

For his sake.

He doesn't want them to get hurt when _it_ happens. Especially her.

He frowned at her, "Look Polka… You're ten years too early to meddle in my affairs. Please stay out of it…"

The girl huffed, "Natsume! You're wrong! I'm not that naïve 10 year old girl anymore…"

Natsume stared at her, "I'm sorry, Mikan…"

Mikan eyed Natsume suspiciously. The words 'Sorry' and 'Mikan' never made it in the same sentence, ever. This must be her lucky day.

Natsume continued, "I am wrong. You're not that naïve 10 year old anymore… You're that annoyingly meddlesome and incredibly gullible 15 year old, _strawberry print_…"

Mikan flushed, holding her skirt down. Natsume always managed to know what type of underwear she was wearing. She was starting to suspect that he has the X-ray vision Alice.

Natsume smirked when Mikan turned red, and was unable to retort him. He loves it when she blushed like this. He loves her so much.

His heart ached, nothing like the other pain, but instead, even more painful. He controlled the urge the hold the girl he loves so much in his arms, trying to remain content just watching her like this.

"Do you love me?"

_Crap. _Natsume wanted to smack himself, and set himself on fire for blurting out such a statement.

Mikan looked at him, eyes opened wide, "Huh?"

Natsume was flustered, and tried to take back his words, "I mean… Well… I-I…"

_Shoot. What am I saying? Damn it._

Mikan broke through his mental cursing.

"I love you…"

Before Natsume could say anything, Mikan continued.

"We all do… That's why let us help you. Please. Don't you know how worried we all are? Yoichi and Ruka actually cried when they talked about you. Even Hotaru is worried. She didn't say anything, of course, but recently, she had shut herself up in her lab. It turns out that she had been contacting various medical institutions lately…"

Teary chocolate-brown eyes met his crimson ones.

"So please Natsume… Do you know how worried you're making us? Don't walk away from our concern… Please… Tell me."

She took in a deep breath.

"Are you dying?"

Natsume gritted his teeth, his heart aching terribly at the distress he knows he was causing his friends and her. Especially her. He averted his gaze. He did not want to look into those eyes. Those eyes that can make him reveal his true feelings.

He took in a deep breath.

"Dying? Of course I'm dying…"

Before Mikan could say anything, he continued, "I'm dying. You're dying. Ruka's dying. We're all dying. Day after day after day, we're growing older by the minute."

Mikan gave Natsume a reproachful glance, "Natsume…"

Natsume got up and stretched, "Little girl, don't pretend you know me so well… Don't _romanticize_ me…"

A sudden burst of pain, one that he had been so familiar with the past few years, and which had been occurring more frequently these few days, erupted in his chest. He gritted his teeth, and clenched his fists tight, refusing to let any sound of pain escape from his lips.

Mikan surveyed Natsume's profile with horror. Natsume had turned pale with sweat dotting his forehead. His knuckles had turned white from being clenched so tight. His breath was coming up in short gasps. Mikan floundered for a moment, helpless.

Natsume was being burned alive, and there was nothing she can do.

"N-Natsume… L-Let me h-help…"

Natsume, despite being in so much pain, snorted, "Help? Help what? I'm fine…"

He gave a hacking cough.

"I… urgh… I need to go…"

He left, hurrying off across the field, to his room. He needed to go somewhere private.

Somewhere no one would go to.

Somewhere Mikan would not see him like this.

He clenched his chest, pretending not to have heard Mikan's cry.

"NATSUME!"

_I'm sorry Mikan._

_I love you._

_And yes, I am dying._

* * *

"NATSUME!"

_Damn it. Why is he always like that? He probably thinks it's very cool or something… _

Mikan got up, nearly tripping over in her hurry.

_I'm not going to let you suffer by yourself, Natsume._

She ran after the retreating figure.

_I'm going to help you, no matter what. _

_You won't die. _

_I won't let you._

_And yes, I do love you._

_..._

__

Because I love you so much more, I won't let you walk away.

_

* * *

_

_A/n: This is my first GA fanfic. Hope you guys enjoyed reading it. I just felt compelled to write it down. Tell me your thoughts about it in a __**review**__. By the way, you may dislike the story, but please no flaming. I have a phobia of people doing that. If you truly disliked it, just walk away. Pretend you never read this. Thanks again for reading it =)_


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